No, not that brand of intimacy! Some people are born forging deep relationships with others, and the practice of understanding and patience with a loved one comes easily. For others, being emotionally intimate with another can be very difficult. If you fall into the latter group, here is some quick and easy advice to help increase the level of emotional closeness in your relationship.

Admit it. You got into your relationship for the love and intimacy. You wanted it and now you're in a relationship and the question becomes, what actions can you take to increase the intimacy you feel with your partner?

You can begin to increase the amount of intimacy you feel starting today if you take the right actions. Some great relationship intelligence is to understand that you have the power to increase love in your relationship. There are actions you can take to do this.

There are lots of different powerful acts you can take to increase intimacy with your partner. We'll talk about just one of these now, that you can start using more of in just the next few hours to start doubling the intimacy you experience today: understanding. The practice of Understanding.

For example, if your mate tells you in passing they are worried about an upcoming performance review at work, they may look to you like they aren't really that worried. So you don't stop to talk to them about their concerns. But for them, inside, they may be really afraid of losing their job, and if you don't take some time to listen to them they can feel slighted, like you don't really care about their concerns.

Here is some potent relationship advice: Feeling heard and understood is a basic human intimacy need. Take time to make your mate feel heard and understood and make sure you feel heard and understood around any emotional issue and you will both feel more love and intimacy. If they ask for more help with the kids and all you do is shout out to them to "keep it down," your mate might not feel very heard and understood.

How do you make your lover feel heard and understood? A simple way is to repeat back what you heard. "So the kids are driving you crazy and you want some help, right? What do you want me to take care of?" Telling your partner what you heard and asking clarifying questions will make them feel perfectly understood.

The more your mate feels understood, the more closeness and intimacy they will feel with you. And, your example can help them to take time to make sure you feel more heard and understood. It is just as important when you have an issue that you share it with your partner in a way that it doesn't get ignored or slighted. You can say to them "Hon, please take a few moments to listen to me about this..." The more you feel understood the closer you will feel with your love.

You and your mate talk several times a day. But listening and understanding is a powerful love tool you can add to your relationship that will increase the feeling of intimacy between you. Spend a little extra time on any emotional issues to make sure you and your partner feel heard and understood, and it will pay off in years of deeper understanding and partnership.

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You can learn much more about this in the free course 7 Vital Marriage Insights You Never Learned In School at True Love Insights. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get more here on Relationship Advice Help.